Thursday, September 30, 2010

To Stuffed Olives

Thanks to my younger sister, currently serving in the Russia Moscow Mission, for the following concept. She and her roommates came up with this theory/ analogy you're about to enjoy reading:

The Stuffed Olive Analogy

"Imagine that life is a Halloween party.

You walk into the party and notice three girls in particular. The first is dressed as an angel. She is very pretty and very sweet. She says all the right things at the right times and giggles at all your jokes, making the guy feel like a real man. She doesn't have many strong opinions; she's easy to get along with. She's just perfect--a total angel.

The second girl is dressed as Catwoman--the tight, black leather pants and tail included. This girl is quite attractive, to say the least. She's super sassy and sarcastic. She is totally mysterious, too: she could be into you and totally flirting with you, but, then again, she could have flirted with every other guy at the party. It's hard to tell. All you know is that she's sexy and sassy.

The third girl is dressed in a paper mache stuffed olive costume that she made herself. She's also sporting a red hat for the pimento. [You know, the red thing that sticks out of the green olive in martinis? I only know from the movies.] This girl is hilarious. She is crazy and out there, not afraid at all to be herself. She has strong opinions and isn't ashamed to share them. She's a ton of fun to be around."

There you have it... the stuffed olive analogy. I'd like to toast that analogy, as well as my little sister and her friends for coming up with the analogy.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Guest Blogger is Wise Beyond Her Years

Introducing Kelsey Celeste Jones [Ms. Jones was not present to produce a specially-written post, rather her post was written on May 19, 2009.] Please enjoy.

"Sometimes I feel like my privacy has been invaded in the form of my ipod in your hands. There is nothing more humiliating (perhaps I exaggerate) than having your iPod kifed from your hands and placed in the hands of an evil, non-Beyonce-loving, judgmental music Nazi or pretty much anyone else for that matter. It's like taking a baby from a mother, candy from a child, Sunchips from a 22 year old fake blonde, high heels from Posh Spice, a glove from OJ Simpson, a pretzel from George W. Bush, Angela from Dwight, a cell phone from a middle-schooler, or a planner from a BYU dweeb. Looking through someone else's ipod playlists is sometimes like reading their diary, searching through their underwear drawer, reading their text over their shoulder, looking at the scale when they're on it, or walking in on them dancing in a pair of the underwear you already searched through while they're singing and dancing to MmmBop, only to record the personal and private dance session on your phone, wish you could post it on Facebook, and desire to submit an idea to Hanes for a new commercial.

Here are a few things people might say when looking through an ipod that isn't their own:

You have all of the High School Musical albums? I thought that was an elaborate joke. |
Wait a minute, your top 5 songs alternate between Ratatat's Wildcat, Miley Cyrus' Nobody's Perfect, Coldplay's Viva La Vida, Michael Buble's Everything and T-Pain's latest? Have you by chance heard of disassociative identity disorder? | Still have the Fresh Prince rap from when you memorized it in 6th grade, eh? News flash: everyone else knows it. And yes, the same goes for "Ice Ice Baby" and "Jessie's Girl." Boyz II Men? Really? | I see that an MC Hammer song other than "Can't Touch This" is on your purchased playlist. You may as well have eaten that $1.00. | It says here you've listened to Clay Aiken's song, "Invisible," 327 times. Wow. Let's see, if that song is 4 minutes long, according to my calculations, not only have you spent more time listening to Clay Aiken than he has been out of the closet, but you are much weirder than I initially anticipated. When I say weird, I mean it in the creepiest sense of the word. "If I were invisible, then I would just watch you in your room..." Case in point. | To all those teen angst kids: Dashboard is lying to you! She doesn't love you and she'll never call you back! | Eddie Murphy tried to be a pop star in the 80's? Awkward. | If you liked it then maybe you should have put a ring on it. Yes, this song is about a finger--not woman power. | have a playlist full of sappy love songs named after me? | Oh, you have When You Say Nothing At All by Alison Krauss, too? K, no. | I feel awkward that you say that I'd Lie by Taylor Swift is the song you most relate to... | My Heart Will Go On and on and on and on, too. | You like jazz? What a loser! (Jazz is my favorite genre of music so back off.) | Why are you embarrassed about having all the Backstreet Boys albums? So does everyone else. And they're proud of it.

I, personally, have nothing to hide on my ipod. But to quote The Great Hammer: "can't touch this!"

Kelsey Celeste Jones

Monday, September 27, 2010

Friday, September 24, 2010

Happy Friday!

Please tell me I'm crazy, or is this not one of the most beautiful addresses you have ever seen or said?

Fourty-sixth at Grace

It's actually a blog, but I thought it made a fantastically beautiful address. I want to reside at this address. Fourty-sixth at Grace.

In addition to everyone needing Fridays and the above address, the following are a few good things everyone should have/ experience:

Everyone should have a gnome.

Everyone should travel. 

Everyone makes mistakes. It's okay. 

Everyone should type on a typewriter at least once in their lives.

Everyone should embrace losing their baby teeth... this little guy is missing about three right now.
Everyone should eat a hamburger... could even be on your wedding day.

[FYI: This post was not written while I was at work. I wrote it late Thursday night in order to post on Friday. I do work while I'm at work.]

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Crafty Shmafty

Should I feel guilty that I don't have any posts on my blog about cute crafts I've created this week? I feel slightly not-like-a-woman right now because the large majority of my friends have these fantastically impressive crafts they're pumpin' out. [ is the boarding house for this type of female.]

There are a lot of fabulous decorating/ craft blogs out there. I use them more as daydreaming options than anything; have I really recreated anything I've seen? Nope. However, I am really impressed with the evolution of craft-making. From toilet-paper dollies with string hair and button eyes to hand-painted striped rugs and gorgeous vintage jewelry.

Moral of the story: those who can't wed, plan.[Name the movie!] Those who can't craft, daydream!

Keep on crafting, my lovely boarding-school girls. I'll keep swooning...and buying.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Work Visitors

While my coworker was out to lunch today, her husband came in and left her a card and an "Edible Arrangement." I'm sure you've seen them - the cute fruit arrangements that look like flowers? Ya, cute.

My friend, we'll call her Friend, asked Husband, "So, why are you doing this? Just cause you’re amazing?”

Husband answered, “No, because she’s amazing.”

*Insert huge sigh, here.*

This is the moment where I, hypothetically speaking, would have to hold back from stalking my favorite wedding photography blogs… you know, if I had favorite wedding blogs…

And hypothetically speaking, if you were interested in those blogs too, here are the ones I would stalk:

The Digital Orange

You Look Nice Today

Tuesday, September 21, 2010


Heeeeeey... wait a second... aren't the buttons supposed to go in front?

Monday, September 20, 2010

Smell the coffee

I'm supposed to be getting up at the crack of dawn tomorrow morning and be at work at 6:30 for an event. I can't sleep. My body isn't used to going to bed at 9 pm. So, I rolled over and grabbed one of five books on my nightstand. "Writing Jane Austen," by Elizabeth Aston, was my pick of the night.

I love reading a book that gives you little golden nuggets. Like in tonight's book I read: "Clear your head; sniff the coffee." You know why they would tell you to sniff the coffee? Have you ever noticed the little containers of coffee beans at nice perfume shops? When you go to smell Dolce and Gabanna's Light Blue, but still have the smell of Viktor & Rolf's Flowerbomb in your nose, you need something to clear out the smells. Voila: coffee beans.

What an ingenious little idea. I love the smell of coffee. I don't drink it, but I do smell it.

And what a great little piece of advice. Clear your head. Smell the coffee. Sometimes, you do just have to sit and clear your head. Instead of finishing an assignment for work or school that is really important, take 20 minutes to do something you enjoy. For me, it is reading a book, or playing around with InDesign or Photoshop. A little nerdy, sure, but it clears my head.

Go smell the coffee. Don't drink it.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Shaq vs. Justin Bieber Dance off

I got a good laugh out of seeing this other side of Shaq. And Amanda, hope you enjoy watching Justin! :)

(Thanks 17 Tracks Online!)

Saturday, September 18, 2010

You want me to what?

Umm, ya, heck no. There is no way I'm paying for this. When I fly, I pay for comfort. (As much comfort as one can get on an airplane.) Not two hours of riding a horse then walking away with bruises on my knees.

"A yee-ha moment? Airlines could be attracted to the new Skyrider saddle seat because it would enable them to squeeze more passengers into a cabin without compromising strict safety rules dictated by European aviation authorities."

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Parking Validation

Adam... I owe you one.

This is such an awesome clip. I am smiling ear to ear. AWESOME!

Monday, September 13, 2010

My baby sister

This is my best friend.

She is in Russia for the next 10 months. Not sure I can make it 10 more months.

Here's lookin at you, Kid

I finally have a relationship with that phrase.

My parents are out of town and so I came home to an empty house tonight. A little lonely, yes. But I had "Casablanca" to keep my company. Until yesterday, I had never seen the movie, Casablanca. I can't believe I waited so long. Phenomenal. At one part I hated Rick, then the next moment I was totally crying because I wanted them to be together. Old movies are always the best. I think they portrayed love so much more sincerely than actors and actresses do today.

We'll always have Paris!

Sunday, September 12, 2010


I threw a party tonight and laughed more than I have in a looong time. Wow. Really. I have some great friends. Not all of them were here tonight - I missed a lot of friends, but, you can't get everyone where you want them. So ist das Leben.

I smell like smoke because we had a little fire in the fire pit and I learned how to roast Starbursts. A new one for me. My dentist would kill me... but, it was enjoyable, and surprisingly delicious.

Part of the night was filled with jokes:

Q) How do you get Pikachu on a bus?
A) You pok-em-on! (Get it? Poke him on! Pokemon!? HAA!)

Q) Why don't you want to shower with Pokemon?
A) Cause he'll pik-a-chu! (Get it? Peek at you? Pikachu! HA!!)

This was a true story... my cheeks were killing after this one. Thanks Becca Pike for sharing this: a doctor is looking at his patients record and sees that her name is La-a. He isn't quite sure how to pronounce it, so he goes for the safest bet and greets her as "La-a." (Saying it as it looks.) She corrects him, "Honey! That ain't La-a, that's 'La dash a'!" HA HA HA HA HA HA!! I wish you could have heard Becca say it - her face and voice were priceless. Really.

Great times. Love all of you guys.

PS- lesson #45 I learned tonight: I STINK at sling dog/ white trash golf. I just can't throw those stupid things.

PPS- anyone up for the Utah State Fair next weekend?

Saturday, September 11, 2010

A little trivia

Which one of the following does not grow on a tree: (don't cheat and Google the answer...)

A) Almond

B) Cinnamon

C) Peanut

D) Mustard

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Paul Cardall

I'm not sure if you have heard of Paul Cardall, but I bet you've heard his music. He's got quite a few amazing CDs out there.

A year ago today, Paul Cardall had a heart transplant. He has written a book to chronicle his experiences. He was on Studio 5 yesterday morning regarding his one-year anniversary. Pretty neat segment.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

What the...?

I was going through my friends list on Facebook... by the end of the list, my contact lenses were fogged over and my jaw was hanging down to my keyboard. I hardly have any single friends left. I'm not joking. I was inviting people to a little party and was trying to find friends to invite... all the people I would normally invite are married or not around here anymore. (Bre and Addie... I'm talking about you.) :(

So, to all my single friends who are reading this: you're cordially invited to attend the party. This Saturday at 7 pm at my parent's house in Draper. Bring some food and a couple friends.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Mormon Thug blogger

My friend Sophie emailed me this link and I laughed so hard a few times my cheeks hurt. Thank you Soph! 

Fall fashion

Please and thank you. These are on my "waiting to go on sale" list. There are some darling styles for fall this year.  

(minus the short skirt)

Thursday, September 2, 2010


My coworker snapped this shot today while we were in the downtown Deseret Book store. President Monson came for a visit to see the window exhibit which is based on his life. His biography is coming out in October. This wasn't a publicity stunt; he coordinated with Sheri Dew, CEO of Deseret Book, to find a time when he and Sister Monson could come in for a visit. Pretty amazing. I stood in the presence of the current Prophet of God. The small group of people who were there sang "We Thank Thee O God for a Prophet." Pretty neat.


Good morning!

I went in to say bye to Mama Jones this morning before I left for work. Being the caring mother she is, she asked what I ate for breakfast. (I sometimes leave without eating breakfast... she no likey.) I thought for a second, (I ate yogurt with a huge handfull of almonds and a banana) but replied with a totally straight face, "I inhaled a huge gust of wind." I stared at her without any expression and as if it was totally normal that I would inhale a huge gust of wind for breakfast. The look on her face was priceless. I couldn't help but bust up laughing... then I had to explain it. It wasn't at all as funny for her because she hadn't seen the following clip yet. I just emailed it to her to watch. Please view the following: