Part Two: Jury Duty and Bathroom Charm

If you missed Part One, check it out before moving on to Part Two.

Part Two:
Fortunately for me, GoogleMaps for Blackberry was on my side this morning. Last time I tried it, she didn't work for me. Not that I couldn’t have found Matheson Courthouse on my own [it is kind of hard to miss] but I was nervous when I got on the freeway and saw everyone else and their dog leaving for downtown at the same time I was. I really didn’t want to be late and be "found in contempt of court" and be fined up to $1,000. I need every penny right now – so, I guess it’s needless to say I put the pedal to the metal after I passed the extra-rubbery rubberneckers. [Which is slightly ironic because if I were to have been stopped by our friendly state trooper, I would have been fined and had to pay something anyway… then I’d be extra late and extra fined. Sheesh. Good thing I kept it under 100 mph. [Just kidding Mama Jones.] [She loves it when I joke like that.]

My goal when I woke up this morning was to try and make at least four people smile.
First victim: the parking guard. I drive up, smile and said in a sing-songy voice, “Good morning!” He looked at me for a second, blinked, and I just kept staring right back at him smiling and waiting. He smiled, kind of shook his head and asked if I was here for jury duty. HA! Am I EVER! He pointed the direction I was to go, smiled and shook his head. I think that deserves double points: a smile AND a shake of the head. I’m good.

I walked into a large waiting room which already held at least 60 people. All eyes fell on me as I walked in. Good thing I didn’t have a piece of toilet paper stuck to my shoe or something, cause that would have been embarrassing. Talk about “walk of shame.” The county clerk entered and told us there are a couple of big trials going on today and that we would be pretty busy. Do I know what that means for me? Nope.

[Random note: did you know you get paid for serving jury duty? A whole $18.50 on the first day if you're chosen!]

Anyway... to educate us on jury selection, the county clerk turned on a video, similar in style, drama and hilarity, to what you would see in driver’s ed or traffic school. [This being my first time, I honestly appreciated the direction. What's that? Of course I didn’t have any sarcastic comments pop in my head while watching this video. Who do you think I am?]

Okay, so here's the highlight of my day: after the video, the county clerk invited us to use the restroom and get some water while we waited for the bailiff to come and retrieve us. For any of you who know AE Jones, you’ll know that her bladder is about the size of a green pea. [Too much information? Sorry.] Thinking I was smart, I waited a few minutes for the crowd in the bathroom to die down. Boys: you have it so easy. Girls: at least we bond while waiting in line, don’t we? At least I did this morning with the women behind and in front of me. Joan and Marsha. Both in their 70's or 80's - they were my next victims to make smile. Oh geez – I turned on a little charm and cracked a few cheesy jokes, but had to stop because I thought their dentures were going to pop out, they were laughing so hard. *Wink* Yep, there’s that charm again.

I finally made it through the line and back into the waiting room. I sat and worked on this blog post for about 30 minutes while the guy next to me rocked out to Mariah Carey on his Pod. Finally, Mr. Bailiff came in and announced that if your name was called, you could go.

The second to last name: AE Jones. Doh.

And then, it was over.

I walked out.

With the toilet paper trailing behind. [Not really... it fits the moment though.]

Now I anxiously wait two years before I can see "Jones, Ashley E." on that yellow summons card.

Ladies, get your dentures ready!